MPP's Little Shop Of Linguistic Horrors
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Under construction ...

There are so many examples. For the time being, please relax and enjoy the few curiosities already on show:

• Exhibit 1: AltaVista/Babelfish/Systran's free automatic translation service of Web sites (see also the protocol of our own real time experiment, revisited in September 2004 to see the thrilling progress of machine translation that has been made since 1998). In fact, nothing much has happened since. Even better, the automatic translations of our own Home Page in German and French. Another test of the system can be found on the German Müllseite dedicated to Internet trash.

• Exhibit 2: Globalink's free automatic demo translations do not longer exist under that name. The world moves fast, and at one stage we had to go to Mendez. You got free translations there (and you'd appreciate the double meaning of "free" translation). However, it seems that Mendez has folded, too, and when we looked for the link this year (2004), we only found a forum discussing the paid Internet translation services of this outfit (88 US$ for 500 words in 2001, not bad for the agency, especially since the client himself painstakenly had to put in the German special characters).

• Exhibit 3 (for German readers): Space bar for idiots or "Das Deppen Leer Zeichen" with links to other sites full of German linguistic horror

• Exhibit 4 (for German readers): A never ending list of "Denglish" (or "Germish") words and phrases at the Verein Deutsche Sprache (VDS) site. There, we found a fine statement of German fashion designer Jil Sander. We would like to present it to our English readers because they will understand what it's all about, and because we are proud of Jil Sander as one of our most refined export products. We're also proud that there still remain some untranslatable, intricately German words like Weltverbesserung, Problembewusstsein und Zielgruppen (in line with Rucksack, Kindergarten, and Weltanschauung). In fact, Jil Sander's statement could have been produced by a performant automatic translation system:

"Ich habe vielleicht etwas Weltverbesserndes. Mein Leben ist eine giving-story. Ich habe verstanden, daß man contemporary sein muß, daß man future-Denken haben muß. Meine Idee war, die hand-tailored-Geschichte mit neuen Technologien zu verbinden. Und für den Erfolg war mein coordinated concept entscheidend, die Idee, daß man viele Teile einer collection miteinander combinen kann. Aber die audience hat das alles von Anfang an auch supported. Der problembewußte Mensch von heute kann diese Sachen, diese refined Qualitäten mit spirit eben auch appreciaten. Allerdings geht unser voice auch auf bestimmte Zielgruppen. Wer Ladyisches will, searcht nicht bei Jil Sander. Man muß Sinn haben für das effortless, das magic meines Stils." (im Magazin der FAZ, 1996)

• Exhibit 5 (for German readers): Fisch Brötchen & Curry Wurst. Philipp Oelwein's Kapostropheum site cataloguing bad use of the apostrophe (Agostrophie) in genitives, plurals, and other configurations, or the deplorable absence of hyphens (Agovisie or "Leerzeichenitis") in marketing German, with lots of funny (or horrifying) examples. See for yourself (and click also on Die Zunge meiner Mutter for a nice overview on the damages done). Apostrophe catastrophes can also be admired on Daniel Fuchs' website with many links to other German newspeak sores. By the way, the English equivalent of apostrophe abuse (the greengrocer's apostrophe - for example, "Pizza's & Curry's") is covered by the Apostrophe Protection Society.

• Exhibit 6 (for German readers): The discreet charm of merchant poets, or "Einzelhandelspoesie". A nice collection of poems (and pictures) intended to sell products. Examples? "Der Winter naht - kauft Draht."

• Exhibit 7 (for German readers): Downloaden, downgeloaded, gedownloadet? Go to our page for German readers to learn more.

Agostrophie (Deppen-Apostroph)	Agovisie (Deppen-Leerzeichen)	Unsuccessful, lethal Denglish and agovisie	Maggi has them all ... Or the difference between Hochzeitssuppe & Gespenster Suppe
Wouldn't Wirt's Haus be more to the point?	I want back my Currywurst	The English suffer, too ...	And when Maggi calls, Nivea follows ...
Alles Käse?		Auf der Hütt'n gibt's koa Sün'd (Nür'nberg 2008)
			(All images curtesy of the respective web site owners)

You can be sure that we will indulge in any other exhibits you deem worthy to be included in our show room.

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